The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
my favorite show is sherlock starring bonkadonk clamberdouche and morgan freeman
this joke was a thousand times funnier when they called him eggs benedict
- Mom: So all thee movies are out now?
- Me: Yep.
- Me: Star Trek Wrath of Sherlock
- Me: The Great DiCaprio
- Me: And Robert Downey Man
I don’t want to spend six years of my already wasted life racking up debt in order to get a piece of paper that qualifies me to do a job I probably don’t want just so that I’m not deemed a lowlife failure by a society that doesn’t give a fuck about me anyway.
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
